THE G$ SATURDAY FOOTBALL REPORT

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Something For The Ladies

Cristiano Ronaldo

Karl Malone

David Beckham

Rick Fox

Dwight Howard

Larry Fitzgerald

Mark Sanchez

Marshall Titus

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"SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES"

See Who Else Joins Me This Week in "Something For The Ladies"

"Fly Like An Eagle...."

Where Am I In The TG$SFR Rankings This Week?

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TG$SFR Quote Of The Week

"Chiefs quarterback Matt Cassell, who had an emergency appendectomy two days ago, is doubtful for Sunday's AFC Eest showdown at San Diego."

--Associated Press

Saturday, December 11th

The Ol' Gunslinger

Keyshawn Johnson: "One Way or Another, This Is Not Going To End Well For Brett Favre..."

Outrage Of The Week

Macy's Fires Santa Claus....

Ms. Understood

"Why Am I In TG$SFR Hall Of Shame?"

TG$SFR Baller of The Week

Big Plays In Big Games

GLOSSARY/CAST OF CHARACTERS

Babysitter to TMWKFU: Trojan Athletic Director Pat Haden

Bron-Bron: The Chosen One

Dollar Bill: William Jefferson Clinton, 42nd President of the United States of America

Grasshopper: Barack Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States of America

He Who Wears Armani: Miami Heat Marionetteer Pat Riley

Ice, Ice Baby: Smilin' Pete

King James: Bron-Bron

"Mr. Rourke": Jets Cornerback Darrelle Revis

Ms. Understood: Ines Sainz, "The Hottest Reporter in Sports"

PAB: P-A B

POTUS: President of The United States of America

Ray-Ray: Ravens Linebacker Ray Lewis

Smilin' Pete: Former Trojan Frontman Pete Carroll

The Babyfaced Gambler: UCLA Football Coach Rick Neuheisel

The Boring Fat Man: New England Head Coach Bill Belichick

The Charismatic Fat Man: New York Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan

The Chosen One: King James

The Golden Child: Auburn QB Cam Newton

The Man Who Keeps Failing Upward ("TMWKFU"):

Trojan Frontman Lane Kiffin

The O'BC: The Ol' Ball Coach

The University of Spoiled Children: A degree-granting institution in Southern California

The Zenmaster: Phillip

TG$SFR: The G$ Saturday Football Report

TMWBNRTC: The Man Who Bears No Resemblance To Chucky

TMWBNRTSOC: The Man Who Bears No Resemblance To Son of Chucky

TO'GS: The Ol' Gunslinger

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